"Pressure creates diamonds - and saves tires" Low tire pressure light equates to Mom pulling into gas station for air, having all children get out of car and having each one fill a tire. "Dance in the rain" popped in my head so on impulse purchased a quick car wash. It was silly but I … Continue reading PSI Champions
Nightly team rituals complete I begin to rub the girls back to send her off to sleep. Just as she nods off she sits up and says she needs to ask me a question. I'm expecting it to be about her friend Prisha who went to India over the summer to visit family. She's missed … Continue reading Tears, Brackets, Gluttony and Ringworm
In her youth, my mom was the lead singer in a soul music band, Power Express. She was a free-spirited youth yet somewhere in her adult motherhood she decided to smother me, to physically constrain me. In a distorted way I came to associate being smothered with love, yet always always died inside for freedom. … Continue reading Suffocation of Thought
I seem to work best under pressure. I have four children in four different grades in three different schools with four different school supply lists. School starts next week and it is officially much too late to purchase the supply packs so conveniently put together for frazzled parents like myself. I did not get my … Continue reading Wal-Mart, Target and Ducks
Why I agreed to allow sleepovers is beyond me. I had a moment of weakness and said yes to one without thinking it through completely. "That's right dummy, now you have opened the door for multiple sleepovers because you must say yes to all." In the past I could have super sleepovers, kill all kids … Continue reading Forts and Sleepovers
When I got home after finding out the sex of my last baby was a girl, the first thing I did was go to my computer, pull up google and type in “child sexual abuse statistics“. I’m sure that is not the response I should have had to the news.
I was deeply distraught. I had birthed all boys until now and while there are of course rape statistics for boys, I was not a boy so had not made a connection.
Over the next several weeks and months I proceeded to learn all I could to arm myself with ways to protect her from being sexually abused. I became so obsessed with this way of thinking that I needed to seek out counseling. I was completely aware that my thoughts were unreasonable, or, were they?
What are the statistical odds that I would be molested by…
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I have no doubt I was born to mother, in all of her visages.
I tried for several years to be just that, unsuccessfully. It was when I became resigned to the idea that I would birth a child that I then became pregnant with one.
Ironically, I did not see the blessing. I felt the timing was wrong; that I did not have enough money; that I didn’t live in the right place; that I needed a better support system, and the thoughts ran on and on ceaselessly.
I had just started a new job so didn’t tell anyone. I remember how exhausted I was in the first trimester and there were a couple of times my boss found me head down in front of my computer, snoring.
At 5 months I was not showing. At my ultrasound appointment my ob/gyn seemed to have trouble finding a heartbeat with the…
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They approach, smiling at the warmth Stains of brown caramelized sugar Fascinated they want to taste Drink in the memorable scent They surround and command favor Each pulling their share Rising within they find fullness The vessel now empty, emptied Having served its purpose https://youtu.be/Si_X5HJ1lgo The glaring sweetness of a mother's love feeding into the … Continue reading Sweetest Gift
I wonder what I am growing sometimes. Today I worked to teach my daughter Cielito Lindo. Why? Cause singing to the song while performing amateur (well, less than amateur) folklórico around the house is just fun. Baile Baile Baile! https://youtu.be/Q5e2dAI0c9Y
Mom is leading the pack in strength, emotionally anyways. Before we left the house I glanced in the mirror - I had taken a long hiatus and was finally ready to attend to myself again. I whispered to my body, "Remember?" I hope it heard me because I was cocky and told my boys I … Continue reading Gym Time
We ran the day, the day ran us Weary retreat, she makes a fuss Leaning in on final requests Capturing them in moments rest Snapshot memory, seeds in cloak Melodies versing to be spoke https://youtu.be/70VlAyEUXYM
Favorite line: "Tim: Even though I never went to business school, I did go to Kindergarten, and [I learned to share] and if there isn’t enough love for both of us, I’d like to give you all of mine." Favorite soundtrack song: Blackbird, Lennon & McCartney Summary: I cried. https://youtu.be/Mo_DMGc2v5o
Was taking a shower and had forgotten to lock the bathroom door. I'm so ridiculously used to kids calling me while I'm in the can that I have defaulted to just leaving the door open most of the time. When my oldest walks in on me by accident he covers his eyes with his hands … Continue reading Belly Button-less?
Apparently my ancestors were human trophy collectors so I bore a child that inherited two hundred teeth by the age of twelve. I had him lay on his back and tilt his head back as far as possible. I grabbed a mini flashlight, the one that can light up a stadium, the one I keep on … Continue reading Palatal Expansion
When I was pregnant with my first child I started taking polls with my female coworkers who were also mothers. For whatever reason I was uber concerned about cleanliness. With the first baby, it seems everything must be sterilized, even your own breasts. Bloody nipples anyone? No, just me? I swear I had a breast … Continue reading Shared Toothbrushes
Daughter walked in while I was working and singing. She says, "Mom, I heard you from the other room and your voice sounds kind of glitchy. I don't really like your singing. I like your voice but it's glitchy. She then hugged me, grabbed a laptop and walked out. (I didn't bother to tell her … Continue reading Funny Sunday Moments
It was to be my reprieve time. Time without my quartet. This probably meant hours off, maybe four. I've been around one or all of them and their friends nearly 24/7 since school has been out and well, they're still alive so, it's a win in my book. It may not sound like joy but … Continue reading Euphegenia Doubtfire, Dear
An excerpt from my five year old (now eight year-old) daughters diary. She asked me to publish it. It excludes edits. I love that she titled it after her crush. I wonder if they'll meet up someday... Maybe I'll add her illustrations next time. They're hilarious. Title: I have a crush on Remy Once I … Continue reading Friday Kid Musings
It is in these moments that you start off smiling, laughing and feeling joy completely overtake your heart. Until the 100th hour. Then you rummage for the calendar, scanning furiously for the first day of school, camp or daycare. You tear out the month, circle the date and paste to the refrigerator, next to the … Continue reading Mama no comprende
Some days I need to dig deep to find thankfulness but today it's all up in my face. Son #1: Cleaned up his room without backtalk and a fight. Score! Son #2: Made dinner and all ate it without complaint. Score! Son #3: Folded clothes and ended with a joke of the evening, "Mom, wanna … Continue reading Quartet Thanks of the Day